Well people. Its been a long time. Dunno whats going on with me today, but i've been really down. I've felt like crying all day. I don't know if its missing my son, or worrying about his mother, or feeling like my brother dosn't trust me anymore. Not that I feel like I've ever had his complete trust anyway. But for some reason I'm just down. My best friend recently moved here and im just so busy I feel that I don't get to spend much time just me and him. My son will be here for the month of July, and I know his mother is safe, I just like to worry i guess, I don't know whats going on. Maybe im just overwhelmed with peoples opinions. Its always something, or someone, or god only knows what, forcing opinions on me. Making me feel like im not good enough. Its like I recently put time into something and was fairly compensated for it, but yet it wasn't good enough for someone else. What was I to do? I guess most of the population dosn't understand the point of "paying your dues". I know it seems dumb, but in the entertainment industry its a major part of it. If your in band you have to pay your dues to get anywhere. Just as any other entertainment job, but oh well, what am I bitchin about. Its not like I have any say in anything anyways. Just live my life, do as I'm told, and...well die I guess. Sorry for the ramble, like I said, I'm really down tonight.